Love Me

Every time an investigator writes a search warrant, he or she includes a section that outlines his or her professional qualifications.  At my department, this portion of the search warrant affidavit is affectionately known as the “Love Me page.”  I write A LOT of search warrants, probably more than the rest of the PD combined, so I am constantly updating my Love Me page.  Here is the Love Me portion of my last search warrant (I can’t share the whole affidavit, for obvious reasons):

I am currently employed as a criminal investigator by [a municipal police department].  I have worked for the [a police department] for six years as a Patrol Officer I, Patrol Officer II, Master Patrol Officer, Detective, and Detective II.  My responsibilities include, but are not limited to, investigating financial crimes, managing complex criminal investigations, and preparing cases for prosecution in court.
          I have received over 1,500 hours of law enforcement training.  My training includes, but is not limited to, Police Law Institute, advanced financial crime investigations, crime scene processing, investigative techniques, forensic techniques, death investigations, and suicide investigations.  I hold a B/S degree in multidisciplinary studies as well as a M/A degree in management from Liberty University.

The Love Me page is an accurate and succinct summarization of my professional qualifications, but it doesn’t do a very good job of telling you who I am.  In fact, it doesn’t convey much of the information that I want a recruiter to see.  For example, I am much more proud of how I earned my college degrees than that I earned them.  More on that later.

Until next time.


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