“Them Shit Been Gone”

The farewell tour is over.  I went to ECU, Charlotte, Maryland, and Florida.  I got to see friends and family.  I also spent some time in DC and got to see a lot of cool stuff.  I took a tour of the monuments (Lincoln at night was awesome), saw the State Department and Hoover buildings, and got myself some knowledge at a museum.

I was also lucky enough to see a super pissed-off woman get herself in a spot of trouble at the Ft. Lauderdale airport.  While my mom and I were going through security, a woman came running down the terminal, screaming at the TSA agents.  She ran directly toward a guy who appeared to be the head TSA agent at the screening area.  Nobody knew what was going on, so several agents stepped into her path and were about to go hands-on when she stopped and started screaming.  “I was ‘pose a be on a urrplane to Philly at 7, an I got herr at 6:30.”  The TSA agent at whom she was yelling (you know, because he controls the flight schedule) was surprisingly calm: “Ma’am, I don’t understand what you’re saying.  What exactly is wrong?”  She seemed surprised that he didn’t already know what was going on: “WHAT’S WRONG?  I BEEN POSE A BE ON A PLANE UP IN HERR AT 7 THIS MORNIN’.  I GOT HERR EARLY  AND THEM SHIT BEEN GONE! THAT’S WHAT’S WRONG!”  This is when her day went from bad to worse.  The TSA agent’s calm demeanor only served to piss her off.  “WHAT THE F%*# YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?”  He tried to explain that the Transportation Security Administration primarily concerns itself with transportation security (surprise!) and doesn’t have anything to do with scheduling departures, but she was more interested in screaming than listening.  She interrupted the agent a few more times before he invited her to step into his office…

In all, the flights weren’t bad, but the driving was awful.  There wasn’t too much traffic, but I found that the entire drive from DC to Charlotte consisted of a series of small races.  Apparently my rental car was the only one on I-95 last weekend equipped with a cruise control.  At any given time, there was at least one car playing the blind-spot game with me.  When they got tired of hiding in my blind spot, they would fly ahead of me, realize they were going too fast, and then slow down in the fast lane.  I almost lost my mind.

I know that I haven’t done a good job of posting in the past few days, so I’ll try to catch up over the next day or two.  I have a lot to share about my scramble to pack and organize in NC before heading to VA, CA, and LA.

This is a good time to throw out a blanket apology to all the folks I was not able to see.  I tried to see as many people as possible, but there were just too many people.  If you’re one of those people, I apologize.  I’ll plan another US tour when I get back.

Until next time.

-Taft

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