Philippine Weight Loss Plan

Need to lose a little weight?  Maybe you have a wedding fast approaching and you can’t fit into your dress.  Or perhaps you just want to slim down without the hassle of diet or exercise.  There’s a quick and easy way to shed those unwanted pounds.  Simply hop on a plane to the Philippines, head over to Boracay, and find yourself a nice intestinal bug to bring home with you.  You may be asking yourself: “Taft, how could you possibly know that this revolutionary weight loss plan really works?”  Well that’s easy, because it worked for me!

Before leaving for Boracay, I weighed in at a whopping 221lb.  This was a bit high, considering that my recent low was 219lb, but I wasn’t too worried about it.  After all, I assumed that I would just gain more weight over vacation.  And I was right.  I could hear myself getting fatter throughout the trip, thanks to my steady diet of beer and Adobo.  When I got home last Thursday, I tipped the scales at 224lb.

I stepped on the scale this morning, a mere five days later, and I was 214lb.  Eat your heart out, Jinny Craig!  There are AIDS patients who have lost weight more slowly (right Scott?).  I think I may head back to Boracay a few times a year, just to make sure I keep my weight in check.  If I reach a point where the Philippine diet just doesn’t cut the mustard any more, then I’ll simply upgrade to the Mexico diet.

I can’t wait to tell you all about my trip to Boracay.  I’m a bit tired at the moment as I still can’t keep more than a bite or two of food down.  Once I get a good meal and some rest, I’ll fill you in.

Until next time.

-Taft

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2 thoughts on “Philippine Weight Loss Plan

  1. Bill Love says:

    The good people of China offer a similar plan. Last time I was there, I too experienced a transformation. Munching on chicken feet under the 7 foot tall poster of Chairman Mao in back ally food joints just down the path from the factory….. seemed safe enough. Everybody smiled a lot…. very friendly….. not sure what went wrong? I was able to shed all that unwanted fat in about a week!

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