Need to lose a little weight? Maybe you have a wedding fast approaching and you can’t fit into your dress. Or perhaps you just want to slim down without the hassle of diet or exercise. There’s a quick and easy way to shed those unwanted pounds. Simply hop on a plane to the Philippines, head over to Boracay, and find yourself a nice intestinal bug to bring home with you. You may be asking yourself: “Taft, how could you possibly know that this revolutionary weight loss plan really works?” Well that’s easy, because it worked for me!
Before leaving for Boracay, I weighed in at a whopping 221lb. This was a bit high, considering that my recent low was 219lb, but I wasn’t too worried about it. After all, I assumed that I would just gain more weight over vacation. And I was right. I could hear myself getting fatter throughout the trip, thanks to my steady diet of beer and Adobo. When I got home last Thursday, I tipped the scales at 224lb.
I stepped on the scale this morning, a mere five days later, and I was 214lb. Eat your heart out, Jinny Craig! There are AIDS patients who have lost weight more slowly (right Scott?). I think I may head back to Boracay a few times a year, just to make sure I keep my weight in check. If I reach a point where the Philippine diet just doesn’t cut the mustard any more, then I’ll simply upgrade to the Mexico diet.
I can’t wait to tell you all about my trip to Boracay. I’m a bit tired at the moment as I still can’t keep more than a bite or two of food down. Once I get a good meal and some rest, I’ll fill you in.
Until next time.