Bus Update

My old bus driver is back and I’m really confused.  This won’t mean much to those who haven’t read my previous posts about my old bus driver.  But don’t worry, you can catch up quickly.  Take a look at these posts:

My Bus Driver is a Dick

A New Enemy

It’s Official

Now that you’re caught up, I’ll get on with it.  As you know, my bus driver was replaced a few weeks ago.  The new guy was polite, patient and he smiled at me every day.  Translation – he was super boring compared to the old driver.  The new guy drove a different bus, but the new bus was quickly assigned the same number (Bus 6).

Naturally, I assumed that the old guy had been fired.  Given is complete lack of personality, his quick temper and his willingness to pick a fight over just about anything, it seemed inevitable that he would get canned.  But, to my immense surprise, the bus showed up last week with the old driver at the helm.  What the hell?

It was as if he never left.  He avoided eye contact, pushed the button to close the door before I was all the way in and began yelling at drivers before we even merged into traffic.  It was wonderful!  The ride seems much shorter when I’m holding onto the side of my seat, trying not to fall in the floor as the driver weaves back and forth in traffic.  Now that I know a few Korean curse words, it’s fun to listen closely to his rants and try to figure out just how much he hates other drivers.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that, although the bus driver changed, the bus didn’t.  The old bus driver was driving the other guy’s bus (the new one that was recently numbered).  After a few days, I realized that the new bus was slowly beginning to look like the old one.  A few new stickers have appeared on the door, and they’re just as classy as the ones on the old bus.  Even better, it appears that he chose to install a storage rack for beer bottle openers just behind his seat!  This guy is just a badass!

We haven’t had any noteworthy explosions from the current (old) bus driver yet, but I’ll be sure to let you know as soon as we do.  I doubt we’ll have to wait very long.

Until next time.

-Taft

It’s Official…

I have a new bus driver.  I’ve kept my fingers crossed for the past few weeks, hoping that the new bus driver is only a temporary replacement for my old friend.  If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, check out these posts:  My Bus Driver is a Dick, The School Bus, and Bus Door Photo.

I came to the conclusion yesterday that the replacement is, in fact, my new driver.  When I got on the bus yesterday, I noticed a shiny new “6” on the door of the bus.  I think this is a pretty clear indication that the old driver of bus six finally got canned.

Want to know the worst part?  He’s nice.  Every day, he smiles and says hello.  He waits for me to get all the way into the bus before he starts driving away.  He always closes the door (which is right next to my seat) before flooring it.  He never yells at the kids or other drivers.  This guy is boring.  I need some action!

I will miss the random screaming matches with other drivers, the random screaming matches with other cars that can’t hear him, the sometimes random screaming matches with kids on the bus, and absolute unwillingness to acknowledge my presence unless he needs someone to validate his anger.  I’ll miss the totally tasteless stickers of bikini-wearing big-boobed amazons plastered all over the door.  But most of all I’ll miss the excitement of knowing that, at any moment, he could totally lose his shit on some poor unsuspecting person for no apparent reason.  He might be a dick, but it was always interesting.

 

RIP old bus driver.

Until next time.

-Taft

Bus Door Photo

A few weeks ago, I told you about my bus driver and showed you some pictures of the bus.  Because the iPod camera was a bit grainy, it was difficult to see just how sweet the stickers on the bus really are.  Nothing like a bikini-wearing demon/dragon woman to class up a ride to school.  I’m not sure what the theme is, but these things are a real beauty nonetheless:

Bus #6 - the classy ride.

If you look closely, you can see my sexy dome in the top half of the bus glass.

Until next time.

-Taft

Getting Pushy

Stock Photo

It has taken me a lot longer than most of my friends to grow accustomed to the fact that Korea is essentially a giant mosh pit.  It seems like I spend every waking hour in a crowd.  My office and apartment are my only sanctuaries.  There are two reasons for this: 1) Korea is a physical culture.  2) Korea is crowded.  Imagine the population of California and Pennsylvania in an area the size of Kentucky!

I learned quickly that I can’t take offense to being bumped, nudged, pushed, or otherwise crowded by strangers.  Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean that I am comfortable with it yet.  Last week in Costco, it was so crowded that there were times when we simply couldn’t move.  We had to stand in a huge traffic jam and wait for the crowd to untangle itself.  My friend Chris (Texas) and I had to abandon our cart and leave the store.

I find myself saying “sorry” or “excuse me” all the time, even when other people bump into me.  It’s like a disease.  I can’t stop it.  My Korean friends and coworkers think it’s absolutely hilarious.

I think I made a breakthrough today.  Usually, when the school bus parks and lets everyone out, I sit back and wait.  I let all of the students pack themselves into the aisle and fight their way off the bus before I stand up.  This morning, I decided not to wait.  I threw my arm out, nearly clothes-lined some girl, and forced my way to the front of the pack.  I was the second person off the bus.  As soon as I stepped off, I turned around to apologize to the kid, but I stopped myself.  Hell, she didn’t care.  That’s just what you do here.

My colleague and friend 신정 (Shin Jeong) told me about her first lesson on personal space when she moved to America to study abroad.  All of the Korean students in her orientation group were taught to imagine that everyone has a 1’x1′ box around them at all times.  If you find yourself inside a person’s imaginary box, you must say “excuse me.”  She said it was difficult to remember, because it’s such a weird concept to her.

I’ll continue to work on my personal space issues.  My next goal is to go to E-Mart or Home Plus (like Korean WalMart) on the weekend and not freak out.  I’m 0 for 3 so far.  I have yet to check out (on the weekend).

Until next time.

-Taft

The School Bus

Sorry, no new bus driver stories.  He has been behaving himself lately.  I have a feeling that he has to reign himself in once in a while to avoid getting fired.

I thought you might like to see some pictures of the bus.  It’s weird.  Definitely not like an American school bus.  It’s more like a middle-eastern tour bus.  It’s huge, with tacky curtains and bright colors.  The best feature is the big-screen TV hanging over the driver’s head.  Half the time it’s turned on, and the other half of the time it’s playing some weird children’s show.

This picture doesn’t capture the full tackiness of the bus. In the daylight, it is breathtakingly tacky.

The most interesting feature is the water dispenser.  It is always on, but I’ve never seen anyone use it.  On the way home, I always sit right in front of it, but I’ve never gotten up the nerve to try it.  I always feel like I might get in trouble for touching it.

I hope that the bus driver stirs up another fight soon.  I’m excited to get on the bus every morning, and he has been disappointing me recently.  I’m ready to see somebody get smacked in the mouth.

Until next time.

-Taft